Pro-Procrastination


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List of Thoughts I Am Too Lazy To Make Into A Real Post

1. My dad and I got to see Andrea Ledesma in Munich! She and Jörg took the two-hour train from Neumarkt and spent Sunday eating white sausage and seeing impressionist paintings and drinking German punch with us. I tell you this so that you will think we are classy and cultured, when really the opposite is true because my dad and I spent Monday night watching Friends in German. Really it was just me watching Friends with a German phrasebook in hand trying to see what the laughtrack was laughing at while my dad was Skyp(e?)ing with my mom. Other notes about the trip..

–  ABSURDLY expensive internet ($6 euro per hour. PER HOUR!)
– ABSURDLY amazing Michael Jackson altar randomly sitting there on a street. I mean there is some seriously heartfelt fandom going on in Munich. 

The king of Bavaria is no match for the king of pop. 
MJ = Just another part of Munich. 
Speaking of Michael Jackson, this video does a pretty good job of showing exactly what I look like 90% of the time I’m in the kitchen. 

2. The latest Modern Family episode confirmed yet again that Cameron Tucker and I are the exact same person. Exactly. It is mildly terrifying. Even though I’m sure that none of you are in the least bit interested by the freakish similarities between me and TV’s most loveable gay dad, I am taking notes to dedicate a whole post (with actual sentence structure) to this. The jist of it will probably be something along the lines of: Paulina Lopez and Cameron Tucker: Hypersensitive, passive aggressive, believe “the more you spend the more you save,” invest way too much meaning on random events and cry for hours when others do not remember dozens upon dozens of these tiny but meaningful moments, own too many shirts, have an unhealthy relationship with food, etc.  Stay tuned.


3.  Why yes, I did see The Muppet Movie in theatres. Twice. I wouldn’t want to see it a third time because everything about Walter makes me want to punch him in the face. Everything about Kermit makes me want to punch him in the face, too. It’s the same feeling I got from Mickey Mouse, or Tommy from the Rugrats/All Grown Up, or Little Foot from The Land Before Time. There’s something about these characters that makes me feel like I’m being conned.

4. I tried making a list of the top five worst Christmas songs, but all I could come up was Christmas with Weezer, the Christmas album my sister keeps playing around the house.

 I’m into celebrity Christmas albums as much as the next person, but whoever thought that a rock version of O Come All Ye Faithful and O Holy Night would be a good idea is doing the world a disservice.

5. I was going to write something about Herman Cain and Pokemon, but these guys say it best. Needless to say, I was crossing my fingers that he’d quote the ancient prophecy with the clever plot-twisting “ash” pun.

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Keep It Loose, Child

This year only proves, yet again, that I am about ten bazillion times more productive over spring break than I ever am at school.
THINGS I DID OVER BREAK THAT I COULD NEVER DO AT SCHOOL
– I discovered Amos Lee’s album, “Amos Lee”. With the exception of (spoiler alert) watching Never Say Never, putting this on my computer is probably the best investment I’ve made all week. I’ve just been walking around and humming “keep it loose child, keep it tight.” It feels goooooood.
– on a slightly different note.. Francisco wasted no time in showing me the Rebecca Black “Friday” song. 1.5 minutes into it, I was impressed at how good of a satire they’d made, I really liked it. When he told me it wasn’t a joke, I wasn’t sure how to react. After a few minutes of deliberating, Natalia and I decided to just go with it. As in memorizing the lyrics and only speaking in Rebecca Black when Friday came around.

– I learned that there is an ice cream Pokemon. Meet Vanillish, #583! I know this seems like the dumbest thing ever.. but it’s not. There’s no reason to treat Vanillish any differently from the other Pokemon we know and love. Vanillish comes with all the signature sucky moves like Harden (this may sound familiar to those of you who’ve ever trained a Metapod or Kakuna), but it can also learn really cool (PUN INTENDED) moves like Avalanche, Ice Beam and Sheer Cold (that last one sounds especially KO-y). Plus it can learn nice (PUN INTENDED AGAIN) TMs like TM79, Frost Breath. It can also learn Swagger. The fact that TM87: Swagger even exists deserves its own bullet point, but I won’t go there. True to its name, TM87 confuses and enrages the target, which is pretty true to what Weezy, Jay-Z and Kanye try to do.
– I changed my ringtone to something where I can’t sing along so long (sorry Modest Mouse) that I eventually miss the call. Up next is changing my alarm so that I can wake up in the morning feelin like P-Diddy.

– I went to Goonies stand-up comedy open mic night. The key to have a minimally awkward time here is to have low expectations, and even then, you have to be pretty generous. Ernesto clapping his hands when they asked who in the audience had any kids might’ve been in the top three funny moments.. to give you an idea.
– Jon, Ernesto, Francisco and I watched Never Say Never, it was probably the most glorious 2ish hours of this whole vacation. The fact that we were the only ones in the theatre only made the night better, since then we (by “we” I mean “I”) could sing along to half of the movie without worrying about getting yelled at by the rest of the audience. It also meant I didn’t have to be as embarrassed about crying so much during some of the heartstring scenes. Like the home videos and the One Less Lonely Girl concert things and the scene with Usher. And the baby pictures, oh my gosh here I go. It almost didn’t matter that it wasn’t in 3-D. Really the only thing we missed was the confetti at the end and the part where he swishes his hair OUT INTO YOU. Actually I guess that would’ve been pretty life-changing (not a joke).
-Most importantly, during spring break I found this picture. Let me start off by saying that the love for tacky things (e.g. Ernesto Llano) is in my Hispanic blood, so it isn’t my fault that I feel this way about this cake.
I’ll use someone else’s wise words to express how much I love this.
I believe in miracles,
Since you came along,
you sexy thang
(you sexy thang).