Alternate Endings to The Chorus for Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know.”
J.K. Rowling recently announced her new novel, The Casual Vacancy. According to Rowling, the “blackly comic” book will be a departure from the Potter series, focusing on the events of a small idyllic town. While this is a perfectly reasonable narrative for an author to pursue, I think J.K. Rowling isn’t doing this right. The past decade of fame and fortune following the UNPARALLELED WONDER that is Harry Potter allows her the freedom to write absolutely anything she wants for this next book. No matter what, people are going to read this first non-Potta book, because they’ll want to see what non-magical things she has to offer.
Think of the possibilities, J.K.
The possibilities are endless, J.K.
J.K., but seriously. (geddit x3)
No Pain, No Gain: Reforming Education One Spank at a Time, one woman’s take on Education reform.
Even Eva Excitedly Electrocuted Erin’s Excellent Essay, a collection of 26 short stories, each dedicated to one letter of the English alphabet.
Who, Who, Who?, where the author expands on several theories about who let the dogs out.
When Everyday Is Hobo Day, the heartbreaking account of a girl whose old, tattered sweatpants chemically merged with her skin.
Where The Wild Things Aren’t, including but not limited to: Thursdays on First, Mai Fete, under the bed, in the passenger’s seat, and so on.
Standing Ovations That Weren’t Deserved, recounting the author’s long history of being too generous with her applause, and the disastrous results that followed.
|Figure 1: Paulina Lopez’s texts to Ernesto are 80% incomprehensible.|
An excerpt from a future art history textbook that will undoubtedly be written about this work: “Much like Picasso went through a depressive Blue Period (or how Van Gogh went through an entire depressive career), this piece sheds some light on the more painful aspects of being in love with anything: having to say goodbye. The juxtaposition of fine materials with forms that reference a clear state of putrescence manifests the artist’s inner struggle at this crossroad; by looking at the piece, the viewer can almost hear the artist whisper to the bowl of fruit, ‘You are beautiful, no matter what they say,’ before tossing it into the dumpster to avoid yet another fruit fly infestation.”