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Procrastination (((((SPOILER))))))

is spelled

and the worst part is that I’m on spring break. Spring BREAK.
Alright, let’s get to it:
Words I Don’t Understand
1. swagger (swagga)
Forgive my monumental uncoolness, but what does this mean? I just realized, maybe 24 hours ago, that I’ve said this word about sixteen thousand times, mainly because I’ve sung along to Tik Tok about sixteen thousand times (and loved every single bit of it). Other people who’ve gotten me saying it: Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, Fergie and da Peez, Mia (who, I recently learned, is actually spelled M.I.A. with periods in the middle (*see P!nk post)), and half of the people I hear on Pandora.
And I know what you’re thinking! That this is just like that time in 7th grade when I didn’t know what “boo” meant! And how it took me four years, four painful, meaningless years, to finally figure it out, thanks to Usher and Alicia Keys! But this time, I refuse to let four years pass by before I understand swagger.
Let’s go about this strategically using the tried and true THIENTIFIC METHOD! (Since it’s what I’m supposed to be doing for Andrew May Mellon’s generous research fellowship application!
1. Question: Whats swagger?
2. Background Info:
  • Paper Planes: “no one on the corner has swagga like us, something something prepaid wireless”
  • Boom Boom Pow: “Them chickens jackin my style, they try to copy my swagger”
  • Tik Tok: “the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger”
  • Transform ya: “Swag low, I build you up, knees weak I stand you up”
3. Hypothesis:
Swagger is the mtv version of ‘tumbao’, as in ‘la negra tiene tumbao’. Swagger is a limp that people walk with which actually makes them cooler.
walk + stagger = swagger
4. Experiment:
Wiki “swagger”

5. Results:

(none of which look promising)

4.2. Experiment:
Google “swagger definition”

5.2. Results:

Be confident in who you are, because at the end of the day, that’s all you are. You.

That’s what swagger is, at least how I see it. All of these people walkin around think they have swagger because they’re cocky and have money, but how many of these images are the real person? The word has lost it’s meaning…”

6. Conclusion:
Today was the first day that Wikipedia failed me. Thank you, Swagger J, for healing the throbbing wound of my ignorance. Although I’m kind of upset that it’s not walk+stagger..

I’ve got this research thing in the bag. Let’s get this proposal did.