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22 before twenty-two: Part 1

Hey dere old bloggy old pal! I’m sorry that I spent literally all of spring break ignoring you.. The truth is that all of my spring break blog posts talk about how much time I spent watching The O.C., and this year I was a little busy finishing the last Hunger Games book before going to the midnight showing on the 28th (so I could know ahead of time which characters not to get attached to). Aside from all of my complicated feelings about the story once I’d finished the third book, I was mostly ecstatic about the fact that I didn’t have to read any more strained present-tense narration. Holy mother of all that is sacred. If I ever have to read so much as a paragraph of heavy action in present-tense prose I’ll probably dunk my face in battery acid.

Over the past few years that I’ve been browsing dA BlOgOsPhErE, I’ve noticed a lot of people making early deadline bucket lists (see this onethis one, and this other one). SO I’M DOING IT, TOO, GUYS. Cause it’s almost my birthday and if there’s any way I would love to spend my entire birthday, it’s making lists about unimportant things. Also.. this is a palindrome birthday (I’d call it a palinbirthday, but you know), which demands an extra heaping dose of special.

You and I both know that I won’t actually do anything on a bucket list I’ll make for myself, so the goal of this project is to make 22 lists before twenty-two. Wahoo! Also, I’m starting this early because this month starts with April Fool’s Day and saying “I’m gonna make all these lists.. PSYCH SUCKA” is lamer than the current prank I have planned (which is nothing at all) (or is it) (trust no one).

Obviously, it’s not a bucket list without a graphic-designy logo!

Nothing like a fish fossil background to get me excited about being the same age forwards and backwards! 
List One: Songs That Make Me Cry
I think that I spend a lot of time on this blog writing about how much I cry. Make no mistake, it’s all super true. What’s also true is that it takes very little for me to cry. I make Brod’s 613 sadnesses look like an episode of Parks and Rec. I cried when I read The Hunger Games. I cried when I watched The Lorax. I went absolutely ballistic when I got halfway through The Rape of Nan-King, like actual bawling.  Here’s a list of songs that make me cry. Always. Even if it’s only on the inside (but honestly, it’s usually on the outside, too). 
1. “Someone Like You” by Adele. You knew this. SNL knows it. I just had to get it out of the way. 
2. “You Were Meant For Me” by Jewel. Jewel has some weeeird stuff, but this has been my go-to song ever since my first experience with unrequited love in the second grade.
3. “Thank You” by Dido. I’m still debating whether or not to put “Stan” on this list.. (jk) (but seriously, Stan had it bad). 
4. “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap. This is a beautiful song, SYTYCD did a breathtaking piece to it a few years back, blahblahblah.. ALSO this is the song that played when Marisa shot Trey when he was about to kill Ryan and well.. consider this my belated The. O.C. Spring Break post. 
5. “Hero” by Regina Spektor. Because this is the song from that scene in 500 Days of Summer that just rips your heart out of your chest and squishes it into jelly and splatters it into the floor. 
6. “Free Fallin” cover by John Mayer. There’s just something about the way that John Mayer sings this so tenderly that I almost forget he broke T-Swift’s heart. 
7. “Hallelujah,” by Leonard Cohen. In Quebec I met a guy who could play this song on a set of wine glasses. I was super happy with myself for remembering enough French to talk to him, and he was super happy with me because I bought one of his CDs. 
8. “It Will Rain,” by Bruno Mars. .. EARLY APRIL FOOL! 
9. “Aeroplane Over The Sea,” by Neutral Milk Hotel. For summer sadnesses.
10. “Video Games” by Lana del Rey. Like all the best things in my life, I hated this when I heard it for the first time. And the second time. And the third time. After the nth time I skipped it on Pandora, I changed my mind and decided it was kind of hauntingly pretty and sort of eerie and makes you feel like a ghost. In good ways. Basically, this  is my comps in a song.* (see tangent below) It’s also heartbreaking (unlike my comps). 
So there you have it, for days when you really need to cry about how you have to buy full-price wings or how there still isn’t a new Grey’s Anatomy episode. Or if you hate me and want to see me suffer, you know which playlist to play in my torture chamber. 
*GOOD NEWS EVERYONE. My comps title has officially been archived by Carleton College as “This Is How You Remind Me; Of What I Really Am.” Which I think is a work of art in itself. 


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seeyuh comps

I should start out by preemptively apologizing for what I am confident will be a ranty, lame fluff post that mostly consists of stolen APPROPRIATED images, non-sequiturs and enough caps lock to feed a third world country (see what I mean? You should probably close this tab now). BUT I am running on very little sleep AND just finished all my work for the term AND just opened the following letter in the mail:

Hogwarts, you can keep your owls at home because this piece of paper has made me happier than any wax-sealed acceptance letters you could send me. In case you can’t read the line inside of the appropriately placed color wheel of arrows (yeah SMart major yeah), this letter confirms that I, Paulina Lopez, AM DONE WITH MY COMPS and can now proceed to enjoy the rest of my senior year at Kawlton. COMPS refers to Carleton students’ undergrad thesis, which is supposed to represent the culmination of their education blah blah blah. At some point, I thought it was an acronym for something, but maybe I made that up.. Carleton’s Ominous Misery Project for Seniors. Chronic Overt Miserable Person Syndrome. Can Only Make People Sob. Chill Out Man Please Son. Don’t worry, I’ll submit these to the dean. 
The responsible, authorly thing to do at this point would be to show you the professional-quality pictures of my body of work and its accompanying artist statement. For now, suffice it to say that I made and wrote a bunch of things that speak to the processes of my memory. Also, I vaguely remember promising Ernesto that any artwork in my comps would be titled after Nickelback lyrics, so there’s that. 
At Carleton, it’s really cool for people to martyrize themselves over their comps, which (depending on the major) can consist of super long exams, group research projects, 60 page papers, so on and so forth. There’s a widely accepted ‘It’s not comps if you’re not bleeding from every pore’ mentality, which gets old pretty quickly for people who aren’t compsing. I definitely complained too much about comps, but I felt justified because the entire process basically dunked me face-first in alternate buckets of ice and boiling water while pumping my blood with self-doubt and squeezing out any remaining drops of optimism. I don’t even know. There were a lot of moments during this term when I felt like throwing all of my comps work into the Cannon River and Cannonballing (GEDDIT) in right after it. But I should be mature and recognize that comps pushed me to develop personally meaningful work of which I am moderately proud, etc. So.. come see my exhibit in May! Or maybe don’t. All I actually want you to see are the following images, which portray what it feels like to have just passed comps and be done with this entire term: