Pro-Procrastination


Leave a comment

Hurray! and so forth

WELL 36 sleepless hours, 1852 words and one visual aid later, I’m done with finals. AND WITH CARLETON COLLEGE? Apparently? It’s 10:26 p.m. on June 3rd and I’ve been up since 10:30 a.m. June 2nd, so everything’s looking p r e t t y hazy, but I can say with like ninety percent confidence that this is real life and I actually turned in my last assignment and actually went to my last final and am about to actually close the last chapter of what has been a remarkable story in a remarkable place. It’s getting reaaaal sentimental up in hurr, and it doesn’t help that Prof. Appleman gave the entire EDUC344 class ACTUAL CDs with “Fast Car” on them.

Obviously, I’m listening to it on repeat and trying not to drown in my own sea of tears*. (not joking) (seriously though, this song should come with a warning from the Surgeon General)

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ 

‘       ‘     ‘     ‘      ‘
‘   ‘   ‘       ‘    ‘   ‘ 
  ‘   ‘    ‘ ‘    ‘ ‘     ‘
‘     ‘ ‘     ‘     ‘    ‘ 
I made this Love Storm emoticon the other day, it just seems so relevant for this moment. The heart clouds are raining a storm of tears over everything, and well you know. Feeling a lot of feels right now. 
gunna go 2 sl33p now,
sorry for this post.
Advertisements


Leave a comment

Who Wants to Write My Essay for Me?

Fact: The last day of classes was on Wednesday.
Fact: I still have finals until Sunday.
Fact: It is gorgeous out. The kind of gorgeous that makes Carleton’s board of admissions say, “Quick, get a camera and take some pictures of townies on the Bald Spot so that unsuspecting prospective students will get tricked into thinking that going to school here involves enjoying the cool breeze and the green grass and soaking up the sun!”

As a spring term senior, I’ve managed to have my share of rest and relaxation for the past 10 weeks. I took sixteen credits instead of the usual eighteen, and only six of these were graded on something other than a S/Cr/NC basis. Should I be complaining? Probably not.

BUT here I am, and I’m offering you the opportunity of a lifetime! (!!!) While I go eat freezie pops and watch ARTech students breakdance on Division Street, I’m giving you the chance to help me graduate and perfect your writing skills and reinvent high school at the same time.

The golden ticket to your exciting adventure is just a click away. Just click here and type to your heart’s content.

I know what you’re thinking. Does Paulina really expect me to spend my weekend writing her essay instead of enjoying the perfect summer weather that surrounds me? Pff. I expect no such thing, which is why I’ve provided the following picture for you to print in 36x48in. Just hang it up in your workspace, and you’ll forget all about the beauty that surrounds you on this lovely first of June.

So, just write a little ditty about a high school that is a positive site for adolescence, facilitates the successful construction of identity, makes learning relevant, does not ignore the important influences of popular culture and provides a just and equitable site of learning for all students regardless of their race, gender, socioeconomic status, native language and country of origin. GO!


Leave a comment

State of the Paulina, Pt. 1

Paulina spots a look-alike:
1D logic: Zayn, you don’t know you’re Uncle Jesse! That’s what makes you Uncle Jesse!  
OneDirection/FullHouse are straight-laced, wholesome boy bands/families that have ONE black sheep. As you can tell from this GIF I found on a 1D tumblr, the interchangeable black sheep is Zayn Malik/Uncle Jesse. THEY ARE IDENTICAL. I keep waiting for Mary-Kate or Ashley to come out from the water on this beach scene. 



Paulina is disappointed: Following the extraordinarily sexy 30-second “preview” (<- notice the quotation marks dipped in sarcasm, they’re important) of JustinBieber’s Boyfriend video, I spent over a week in eager, eager anticipation for Youtube to release the complete version of JB music video gold. After all, if the remaining 2 minutes and 23 seconds of the video were remotely related to the first 30 seconds of blue-filtered, icy-hot tantalizing scenery, Boyfriend was shaping up to be the most seductive coming-of-age video since Jesse McCartney came out with Leavin‘. When fifty gazillion JB followers started announcing that the video was finally up, I jumped around, politely asked/ordered Ernesto to turn off whatever he was watching, clicked on the link on Twitter and took a deep breath before pressing play.  Things seemed like they were off to a good start when the video started with the scenes from the preview; the slightly frozen gears were turning (I can only assume they’re a metaphor for the love machine within JB starting to awake), the two dozen hands were reaching from nowhere to grab JB’s chest, the MJ silhouette was looking fine as ever, and THEN THE VIDEO STARTED OVER. It didn’t smoothly merge with the next part, it just started over from the Orca mating calls. And a 2:53 minute long, warm-filtered, rooftop summer days story that has NOTHING TO DO with the so-called SNEAK PEAK took over. What?!! Do you know what “sneak-peak” means?!! You don’t promise someone an ice cream cone and then give them a chili dog.


Paulina travels time: Apparently my house has Boomerang now? (It’s not a question, but I’m just so stunned that I’m questioning everything now.) Natalia and I watched a solid hour of Cartoon Network shows from way-back-when, like Dexter’s LaBOREatory and Cow and Chicken and I Am Weasel. Oh man. Do you guys remember how NOTHING LOOKED GOOD IN THE 90s? I thought I had fond, fond memories of Cartoon Network, but it turns out there were just a bunch of shiny butts and gross-looking noses all over the place. 

Paulina is proud to be an American: Last Wednesday, President Obama became the first standing U.S. president to announce his support for same-sex marriage. AND I GLADLY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU!  #lezbehonest #thatsprettyneat (p.s. did you know there’s a groovy Beyonce version of Proud to be an American?! There ain’t no doubt, I love that woman. )

Paulina is not trendy: What the heck does ‘yolo’ mean??

Paulina hasn’t graduated yet: I’m going to just stop going on Facebook until June 9th because all I ever see are statuses and pictures of CONGRATS Class of 2012 at Anywhere But Carleton College and it’s the most depressing thing. akfjlsjdlkfjdlsdkj whyyyyyy are there still 3 weeks left of school?! why why why why why? But the bigger question is how are 400+ students and their families going to fit in the grassy spot behind Olin?! I expect a miracle, Carleton.

Overall state: B/B+


Leave a comment

22B422 Pt. 20: Notebook Excerpts

LIFE WRITING AT ITS BEST! Beat this, Anne Frank.
The first lines of each page in my school notebook:

– a model
– Do I know George well enough to write about this?
– turned into a commentary on effects of
– 4/10 is timeline invasion day on Facebook
– leaves with new understanding of people, generally normalizes them
– INVESTIGATIVE
– Autobiography/Personal/Psychology
– general journalism lecture: solve problem of SCENE first
– farm stand in high school (high school or old woman?)
– he wants to win the lottery/rob a bank/ change his name/ donate to charity
– … therefore becomes a hero to win BUT
– … therefore he successfully frames liked hero to take his spot, BUT
– Sotheby’s, appraisal orgs
– antiques capital of Connecticut?
– rituals and benchmarks
– structure of schooling and the boundaries of adolescence
– (Rousseau) assumes people are innately good
– make every working man a scholar and every scholar a working man
– Milner: status determined by beauty/physique
– Erikson/Marcia’s so-called universal theories don’t consider the implications of race
– Louder Than A Bomb questions : poetry in curriculum?
– 2000 writers’ collaborative
– Personal Narrative: what’s the purpose of telling a story?
– Doug Foxgrover and posters
-The role of social networks on adolescent identity development
– retain the inalienability of status because status is located in other people’s minds
– in high school could explore the two identities by creating
– Last weekend, Ernesto and I visited Ann Arbor, Michigan
– Oliver Sachs and how to approach life writing
– Salem’s Lot 4:23:21 at 59:45
– scholars and leaders in professionalism
– low scoop/arms side/ knees low/ cries low
– legs take it out in stride


Leave a comment

22B422 Pt. 18: Teen Anthems

Have you ever been in high school? Do you go to Carleton College? You should probably take EDUC 344 with Deborah Appleman, where you get to study high school and teen angst and all the other things that make life worth living. There’s a slightly insane number of books that we read per week, but the class makes up for it by starting every day with a teen anthem. Our list so far has included:

– “Baba O’Riley”, by The Who

– “No Such Thing,” by John Mayer (not his best, but I freaked out enthusiastically regardless)

– “Jack and Diane,” by John Mellencamp

– “Fast Car,” by Tracy Chapman (I think I’ve described previously how hard it was not to cry)

– “At Seventeen,” by Janis Ian

– “Maria, Maria,” by Santana w/ Wyclef and a bunch of other people

– “Waterfalls,” by TLC

– “Born This Way,” by Lady Gaga


Leave a comment

22B422 Pt. 15: Division Street Curse

I used to think Rochester was a teeny little midwestern town.. and then I moved to Northfield. Our downtown area is Division Street, our own little Champs Elysees sitting pretty between Carleton and St. Olaf. The cute, hustlin’ bustlin’ part of Division Street goes on for about 4 blocks of renovated hundred-year-old buildings that house yarn stores, used bookstores, LOVELY ANTIQUE SHOPS, and like five different ice cream places. The well-trimmed trees and baroque-looking street benches give Division Street a deceptive air of perpetual happiness, but those of us who’ve been here for over a year know that all the decorative street lamps in the world can’t mask the Ghosts of Businesses Past who still haunt the street.


Division Street Businesses That Have Closed Since I Started College


1. Sweet Lou’s Waffle Bar, in business from 2008-2009. This was a fun place to visit now and then, and the business was owned by (and named after) one of Carleton’s own Religion professors. People could order sweet or savory toppings to go on their waffles, but at 7$ per waffle, the closing really came as a surprise to no one.

2. River City Books, in business from 2002-2009. The store had been a branch of the Carleton Bookstore, but specialized in books that people actually read rather than Organic Chem textbooks that end up serving as doorstops.

3. Tea Creations, in business from 2011-2012. This place had bubble tea and regular tea and mango smoothies an egg rolls and I ONLY CAME HERE ONCE because I didn’t realize how yummy bubble tea was until the year was basically over and I went back to Rochester. I think I had a bubble smoothie, which is basically a smoothie that has gummies at the bottom. The best part of bubble drinks is that they come with the fattest straws in the world. 😦


4. Pan-Pan International Cafe, in business from 2010-2011. Ernesto and I ate here pretty often because they had an enormous peanut stir fry that always comes with tons of cilantro and because they sold Jarritos. This place sold Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Mexican food (weird combo? yes. delicious? yes.) and had sort of awkward waiters. It also had Saturday breakfasts that I never tried. 5 dollar huevos rancheros, you’re the one that got away..


5. Digs, in business from 2001-2011. Digs was a yarn and fabric store that left Northfield right when I started doing soft sculpture for my senior year art classes. I ended up driving to JoAnn’s in Rochester like every other week to get satin or zippers or polyester fluff or blue thread and whatever else I needed for mah artz. Speaking of which.. does anyone need fabric hamburgers? Fabric shotguns? Fabric pretzels? Fabric syringes? Fabric rifles? Fabric cigarettes? Anyone? Anyone?

6. Tiny’s, in business from THE BEGINNING OF TIME – 2011. Tiny’s sold hot dogs and indie soda BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY its ads were literally the best part of The CLAP (the edz got free hotdogs every Friday for making them). So now that Tiny’s is out (and Andreas Stoehr graduated), 1. There is no way to save America and 2. The CLAP just has a bunch of rehashed look-a-likes and Asian mom emails. And soft porn.

Someone else’s photo of the Tiny’s bumper sticker.


Leave a comment

22B422 Pt. 12: Why Can’t I Write This Stupid Essay?

Why Can’t I Write This Stupid Essay?


– I’m too busy yelling at Ernesto for trying to throw away all my precious memories that are stacked on the coffee table

– IT IS SO HOT EVERYWHERE AAAAAHHH

– Daydreams about eating Krispy Kremes keep coming into my brain unannounced

– Everytime I start to type “Furthermore,” I automatically start saying “And furthermore Susan…” in a really indignant voice

Anne Marker (whoever that is) keeps putting beautiful things on Pinterest that make me swoon.

– Each time I catch a glimpse of myself typing, I get distracted at how cool my nails look now that Ernesto painted them. YOU DA BEST, ERNEST.

– I’m negotiating this inner battle over whether or not it’s okay to eat yet another box of Peep bunnies. My body’s saying “Let’s go,” but my heart is saying “No.”

– ^ what the heck ITUNES, I’ve definitely had “Genie in a Bottle” in my music library since 2004. Where did you put my song?? Even my things lose my things.

– It’s senior spring term and literally all I care about is using my birthday coupon for Supercuts. After that’s over with, I’ll probably sit on the grass drinking Coke Zero until graduation.

– Speaking of sitting on the grass, who’s playing at Spring Concert this year? Obviously I can’t write this paper until I know all of the obscure bands that I’m not acquainted with enough to be able to sing along to (last year RJD2 came but well how do you sing along to “Ghostwriter”? You can’t.) (still though.. RJD2!)