Pro-Procrastination


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22B422 pt. 9: Books J.K. Rowling Should Write

J.K. Rowling recently announced her new novel, The Casual Vacancy. According to Rowling, the “blackly comic” book will be a departure from the Potter series, focusing on the events of a small idyllic town. While this is a perfectly reasonable narrative for an author to pursue, I think J.K. Rowling isn’t doing this right. The past decade of fame and fortune following the UNPARALLELED WONDER that is Harry Potter allows her the freedom to write absolutely anything she wants for this next book. No matter what, people are going to read this first non-Potta book, because they’ll want to see what non-magical things she has to offer.

Think of the possibilities, J.K.
The possibilities are endless, J.K.
J.K., but seriously. (geddit x3)

Books J.K. Rowling Should Publish Instead of “The Casual Vacancy
Sixty-One Different Ways to Fold A Sock, the story of a half-Japanese adolescent girl who reconciles her heritage with her individuality by repurposing lost socks into origami figures. 
My Favorite Crayola Colors in Reverse Alphabetical Order, Wisteria, Wild Blue Yonder, Unmellow Yellow… what comes next? Read to find out.

No Pain, No Gain: Reforming Education One Spank at a Time, one woman’s take on Education reform.

Even Eva Excitedly Electrocuted Erin’s Excellent Essay, a collection of 26 short stories, each dedicated to one letter of the  English alphabet.

Who, Who, Who?, where the author expands on several theories about who let the dogs out.

When Everyday Is Hobo Day, the heartbreaking account of a girl whose old, tattered sweatpants chemically merged with her skin.

Where The Wild Things Aren’t, including but not limited to: Thursdays on First, Mai Fete, under the bed, in the passenger’s seat, and so on.

Standing Ovations That Weren’t Deserved, recounting the author’s long history of being too generous with her applause, and the disastrous results that followed. 


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22B422 Pt. 8: My Half-Blood Prince

Do you remember when Harry Potta got all A’s in Potions because he was lucky enough to get the Half-Blood Prince’s old copy of Advanced Potion Making? And he used the annotations scribbled on the margins of each dusty page to learn a bunch of secret spells that were really good at hurting people? Well, I’m going through basically the same experience with my used copy of Freaks, Geeks and Cool Kids, one of the books for my ed studies class. The main difference is that the annotations in my book are totally irrelevant and very, very entertaining.

The Half-Blood Prince’s copy of Freaks, Geeks and Cool Kids.  It even looks old-timey and full of secret secrets! Also, check out my cute potholder in the corner.
Feast your eyes on these notes from page 19.
Doesn’t that look promising? Clearly, the Half-Blood Prince (HBP) of Educational Studies doesn’t give a crap about Cindy Tiedeman’s 20% Underline rule. 
It’s gonna be hard to put this person’s notes in context, but we’ll give this a shot. 
“this is the underlined part in textbook” this is the HBP’s annotation
My Favorite HBP Notes From Chapter 1:
“My goal is not to portray the full complexity of high school.” I like that she outright says this for H.S. is very traumatizing for some

“A long line of research … argues that family background is a strong determinant of educational attainment than most other things.” I agree my mother did not care but my stepdad made me work my ass off so I could succeed

authoritative parenting” best type

“… the relatively weak effect of parents is seen in the children of immigrants” But is it because they are trying to fit in “Grandma”

“Benjamin Spock” best baby book!

Perhaps what is wrong with young people is simply a reflection of the class structure of society…” LOL Dew is an idiot 

I reject this assumption.” SO DO I

… expelling students requires complicated and time-consuming processes.” and most times is wanted

“Schooling becomes another form of consumption.” There is so much to do how do students do hw

“… horrific school shootings like those at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, have contributed to the perception that our schools are not only ineffective, but unsafe.” Social hatred u cant do this horrible act these kids need help

“youngsters” who uses this

(at the top of one page) There is a lot of info that she says but does not matter
While some of the notes are fairly straightforward, and echo many of the sentiments that one might feel during readings, most of the mysterious HBP’s notes are like weird, lopsided holes in a chainlink fence that are big enough for me to know that the stuff on the other side might be interesting, but not big enough for me to squeeze through and see what the heck this person is talking about. Who’s “Grandma”? Is it like, HBP’s grandma, or is HBP referring to the author as Grandma? (Throughout the entire first chapter,  HBP keeps referring to the male author as “she.” It spices up the reading.) Who is Dew and why is Dew an idiot? How is expulsion ‘wanted’? Does HBP love his stepdad more than his mom? 
HBP IF YOU ARE READING THIS, PLZ EMAIL ME WITH THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS. OR YOU COULD CALL ME TWEET ME IF YOU WANNA REACH ME. ALSO, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE USED BOOKS LYING AROUND? GET AT ME BRAH.